I have been hating myself and convincing my own mind that everything that was inside was wrong, that I was wrong and that I would have never been able to get where I wanted to.. even thought I knew it was unreal, even thought I was conscious that I was lying to myself.
Been too scared of what was around me, I’ve been hiding pieces of my identity – the biggest ones – and only showed a part of the littlest and maybe easiest ones, thinking that it was enough to me.
But my identity survived.
It survived even thought I tried to kill it – a murded which only resulted in risking to ruin relationships with people around me (to whom I can only pray for forgiveness), but most importantly, with my own self.
I am still a bit ashamed about opening myself with such an intimate tool as photography can be – even now that I’m writing these words I’m wondering if I’m ready to do so, but I gotta fight what has been holding back to love myself and finally make it.
I will always be thankful for the great gift photography has been for me in the past six years: in spite of all the sleepless nights, all of the paranoias that my mind created and the fear of not being good enough, it will always be the biggest challenge I have with myself – so the biggest way I have to face the deepest sides of my mind and embracing them too.