04.02.18 – birthday girl


21 anni di tormentata esistenza


Back up


A freshly made mark on my forehead as a symbol of resurrection.

After two weeks stuck in depression once again, where I didn’t even feel like getting up from bed in the morning, I found the strength to get right back up, pull myself together and face the problem. I don’t think it’s completely over yet, but I can definitely say that I’m doing fine: I don’t feel extremely angry anymore, at least at the moment; I’m being able to push away bad thoughts and I’m slowly losing the bad habit of negativity.

In the last month, I’ve seen a change in me that almost feels unbelievable if I think of how rooted my problem is (dealing with a lifetime of humiliation is not an easy thing, it has his own significant weight and I am fully understanding it just now) and how much pain it caused me – a pain that not so long ago felt endless. But in spite of everything, I started to accept the love I have around and feel more confident about what I have, materially and spiritually talking, and finally convince myself that if God sends me something good it’s because I deserve it and it’s no mistake. Basically, I started to believe in myself more. It sounds banal, but in the end self love and acceptance are both the only problem and the only solution one can have. And as corny as it might sound, it works wonderful.

Letting go of negativity, accepting love, embracing myself.. gotta keep that in mind and never forget it.